Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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