a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
you had me at cake vodka
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
