Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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