i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
