What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
