I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
