Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
