You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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