Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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