If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
