Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
