would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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