I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
