His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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