I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize