I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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