Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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