I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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