I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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