turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
