its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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