How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
