hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
