Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
