Me too!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
