so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
