Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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