don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize