I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
