I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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