It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
