We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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