Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Found your dick twin last night
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
