Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
