who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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