Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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