if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize