He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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