Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
