I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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