it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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