If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
