I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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