I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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