it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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