i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize
