i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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