All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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