just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
