Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Randomize
