"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
