you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
