they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I fill condoms, not promises.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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