no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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