I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
