I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
