whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
