well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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