it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize