you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
