I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
